rachaelbean

I have decided to at least give my blog a vaguely useful vent and do a bit of a restaurant review ever so often... so here is one of said...

KIMCHI GRANDMA - Whitehorse Road, Box Hill - Korean
I don't know if it was just that I was starving but I really enjoyed my meal at KimChi Grandma. Although at first (depsite the delicious smells wafting from other tables) I was not sure what to order on the menu (I am not a big fan of cold tofu, noodles or raw fish), I thoroughly enjoyed the two "stir fry" style dishes we ordered; one beef and one octopus. Both dishes came on sizzling hot griddles covered in generous amounts of sauce (lots of sauce in a stir fry always makes me happy). We were also served steamed rice and six small complementary side dishes (a variety of cold pickled vegetables). The meat in both stir fries was tender, in particular the baby squid which tend to end up "jaw breakingly" chewy in most restaurants. The sauces were really tasty although quite spicy (the cold side dishes were very useful here). I enjoyed the meal so much that I was eyeing off the sushimi in the next door table and have resolved to return with a more adventurous attitude and take the cold noodles and raw fish plunge! :)

Pricing was very reasonable (less than $20 each including drinks). Those with entertainment books can use a voucher to get a further 25% off. Service was fantastic and helpful to us philistines who have no idea about korean cuisine!

Focus seriously lacking this week. Little work done and little motivation . Indeed, struggled to get out of bed Monday and Tuesday. Only rose today by making pact with BS that I HAD to get up before him which meant that I had to get up in time for him to get to work on time (weird psychology in that one but worked nonetheless). Need to work out where to go from here before paralysis sets in for good!!!!

Two Planned Actions:
1. Continue reading "Sex and Death" by Sterelny and Griffiths. Engaging and slowly cracking the philosophy of biology nut... i think!
2. Read over thesis conclusions and markers comments both as motivation and a way of getting back some perpsective!
3. ( i know i said two but...) get some sort of direction in concrete... eek!

Hopefully 1 and 2 will in someway lead to 3....

Well, since a number of people have commented on my lack of blog content I thought I'd better write something...

All is ok, I am still alive!

Uni has got into somewhat of a routine although I'm not sure if a very good one. I seem to get very little actual work done and when I try to do work (predominantly reading) I tend to fall asleep. Though sleep from tirednesss not boredom which is bad but probably better than boredom in terms of my long term research prospects!

My thesis is yet to take any more shape than an amorphous blob so I have decided to work on getting the background to that blob I didn't have time to get last year during honours while I think of a good topic. I have one idea which could be really good, looking into the role of various fields within cognitive science (i.e. what has a philosopher got to say about this? why is this important??). Epistemology interests me. I am a bit cautious however to be getting too philosophical in the "philosophy department" sense having no formal pure philosophy background apart from that provided by HPS... not sure if it's a big problem but am trying to work on making it less of an issue...

Urg, boring entry huh? never guaranteed entertainment value!

Been quite an exhausting few days I must say and I can't wait to get home and cuddle up in a doona with a book and perhaps a nice glass of wine (though will probably send me straight to sleep!)... On Friday had a nice morning, slept in at Ben's house which is always nice.

It sounds terrible but it is often especially so if Ben goes to work because I get the whole bed and house to myself to get up at leisure, listen to old fogey radio (aka 3LO) and watch TV wrapped in a doona and wearing my PJs. Why don't you do this at home you say? Well, my house being the crazy people filled home it is, my Dad in particular is always home which can be nice but can also mean that any moment "to yourself" is interrupted by requests for assistance on the computer (very often... we have taken to writing out written instructions for him!) and long involved discussions about Sunday's bike race. It's not that I don't enjoy my father's company, I do, we often have very long and enjoyable discussions when I'm at home, but sometimes you just aren't in the mood and need to have your space!

That said (I needed to vent a little) let's get back to weekend... Following nice sleep in my ever so lovely drove me to uni and I worked quite happily for a few hours. I have decided that I truly love philosophers who can write, it makes my day so much easier!!!! I went out for drinks with the other postgrads which was also nice although have decided that talking about Derrida and the pros and cons of translation when a little tipsy may have been a bad idea. After that went to Naomi's house-cooling...where I was teased mercilessly about new shirt i have which is quite busty (nothing raunchy but it is one of those slightly see through blouses so you can see my bra... god forbid!). I did get to eat freshly got mission beach coconut which was a good recompense for teasing...
Anyways Saturday consisted of band practice and moving house for naomi and the MSO before work this morning at 8.30...
Urg, it is only 11.18 and I need to go to bed............a tree fell over in the forest gallery today... I hope I don't too!

Also, if you were wondering (I was), glow worms glow because they use it to attract teensy insects in the leaf litter to little snares they build from silk and then eat.....

Another interesting fact....well sort of...
the whole idea of having a desk at uni and actually doing work there is to go... if you don't go in, like i did today, despite lofty hopes of hours of work, you do bugger all!

...my alter ego clearly took over...hail to queen procrastinator *ben rolls eyes*

I didn't mention in my last update that we went to see glow worms while on the camping trip. There is a fantastic spot at the bottom of a gully on Grey River Road running inland from Kennett River that teems with glow worms. I have been there before with Ben (yes, it's quite romantic) and it never fails to impress me even though we have to drive for ages on bumpy dirt roads (something I am not really that keen on) to get there. It's difficult to explain how magical it is to walk off down the track and slowly, as your eyes adjust, see all the little glowing blue lights appear right up the hillside and into the darkness. Interestingly, glow worms aren't worms at all and rather the larvae of a type of flying insect called a fungus gnat.

After somewhat ill-fated camping trip on weekend (it lost its outdoor charm sometime during the six hours we were trapped in the tent during a deluge of seemingly biblical proportions!) my day at uni was very slow and difficult. I think I did the same amount of work I did in three hours last wednesday in six hours today. Still, it wasn't all bad. I am quite enjoying the freedom my current position allows along with (and somewhat surprisingly) the accompanying wealth of choice.

Although of course I did have freedom during my undergraduate degree it is completely liberating to no longer have to worry about coursework or reading for tutorials or essays. Rather I simply have to focus on the thread of thought I have chosen to focus on for the moment and read/think/write at (to a fairly great extent) my own leisure. I had hoped things would be this way as I have always found it hard to really think deeply about more than one essay at once.

It is as described in my last entry quite scary to think that I (and even more scarily the machinations of my brain) have been somehow trusted to complete the mammoth self-directed study upon which I have begun. In order to maintain my focus and also to stave off my alter-ego as the "Queen of Procrastination" I have organised a desk at uni (which has a quite helpfully non-existent internet connection) and am going in each day to "work". This I have also found liberating in that I can, at least for now, leave my work at uni and come back to it somewhat refreshed each day. I hope that this feeling continues!

On a different track, I have to say that rainforest ferns are the most gorgeous things from above. Ben and I went to the Otways Fly a suspended walkway in the Otway Mountain Ash Forest near Lavers Hill on way home from aforementioned soaking at Lorne campsite. I took some photos which I hope come out - I'm not entirely sure how they'll be as I had a bit of difficulty getting enough of my head above the guard rail on the walkway to take the photos very well (a product of both engineering and vertigo!). Will try to get them linked to this entry if I can... There will hopefully be some other good shots too of the low clouds and fog over the ocean road, one of the nicer side effects of the abysmal weather!

Starting postgrad on monday :) I am really excited but also a little bit scared. I always feel like I really don't know what I'm talking about and one day "they" will all find out! Still, it seems that from speaking to others that this is completely normal...at least something is!

Have been working hard all week at the Museum without too much bother except for a small flooding incident which was rectified very quickly (the magic of water siphoning... who would have thought)!

quick update on last email!!!!
very excited!!!
have been offered an australian postgraduate award to fund my masters next year!!!!! YAY!!!!

I can't remember when i last wrote but it's been a busy few weeks. I got my last essay done and handed in then followed that with a departmental talk on thesis. Why I vulunteered to do the talk remains a mystery but it went ok considering my lack of preparation. I was told afterwoods that I talk to fast (common complaint even when not in front of 50 ppl), I talk to softly and my hair is in my face but that apart from that it was great!
Spent last week in Sydney visiting ex-melbournite friends. Great fun, particularly a ten km walk we did around manly. I saw tonnes of water dragons and skinks etc... it was a bit weired actually because it felt like the track was in the middle of now where for most of the walk but I think we were at most 500m from houses! Also saw HP movie... a little disapointed as it was a bit over dramaticised but I definately loved the special effects...

Got "unofficial" thesis mark... 88!!!! which is a bit crazy.... with coursework (84.5 average) this leaves me with 86.25.... hopefully it's enough for a PhD scholarship!!!! i'll be damn frustrated if it's just under being enough that's all I can say... my third year marks might be a bit of a problem....

Ok, now getting stressed by that "measly" 7500 words of essay. Have written 1000 word essay successfully but struggling with 4000 word essay and don't want to even think about the 2500 word one!!! arg.... sick since last week so have extension on 4000 word one till end of week, will get there eventually but is a struggle to get it done...

They just seem so pointless now, in particular the one about "the transition from traditional midwifery to male dominated obstetric practice"... basically a convoluted lit-review to prove that i did work for the subject. Frustrating!!! Why don't they just give you a mark for the year based upon your contribution to class discussion and the readings... or a discussion about the course content with the lecturer! Hmmph!

Poor old B has been putting up very very well with grouchy me especially since "being sick" included my eye lid getting infected and puffing up like i did three rounds with mike tyson (most unnattractive)! Thanks to the miracle of modern drugs it has subsided though that side of my head hurts still and I am going to have to wear my glasses playing polo tonight which isn't so much fun in the swimming pool!..

Ok, rant over, stopped feeling sorry for myself... getting back to essay

Thesis is over at last

Still have some 7,500 words of esay but not terribly stressed out by that (yet!).
Have been relaxing suitably with cold drinks of many varieties, cup day celebtrations, dinner at indian restaurant...reading novels... have got through three since monday!

Ah relaxation...at least til tomorrow when I get back to essays!

Very busy week...

Sat 15th
EMS Concert including dreaded/anticipated solo. All went nicely although my fingers decided not to listen to my brain during first solo (resulting in somewhat avant garde improvisation!) but having done the nasty solo I was able to relax somewhat and "ripped out" (to use Monty's turn of phrase) the second one much to my glee (although my hands continued to shake for the rest of the performance). Party afterwards most enjoyable...

Sun 16th
Hangover... thesis takes a backseat

Tues 19th, Thurs 21st & Frid 22nd
new job at museum as "assistant animal keeper" most fun but tiring and a bit of information overload as learning to feed and care for the myriad of creatures they keep. Interesting lessons on being a "spider husband" and got to get up close an personal with tarantula, thorny devil (little lizard from desert) and very cute geckkos)...

Wed 20th
meeting with HS, went very well although still think perhaps am just a good faker and he hasn't seen through my little charade of actually knowing something about my thesis!!!! Still, seems that all is not lost and I am getting somewhat optimistic about outcome of far too much work.

Frid 22nd
DVDs with Ben... as soon as turned on promptly fell asleep snoring and continued to do so throughout night although he (sweetly) put up with it knowing how tired I was.

Sat 23rd
Canoe polo finals... played Roughies in semi and won 5-1 despite tight game which should have been closer in scores. Faced Melbourne Uni OXO in finals and was even 2-2 in first half but got overrun in second and lost 6-2... tired and lack of motivation in second half which wasn't helped by not being able to find a pool worthy boat until 1 minute before game started. Still, we all got nice little medals. Ben very disapointed but as it is only my first full season I am pretty happy to have done so well especially since we aren't even playing in the novice grade!
Followed by excellent 21st at Hayden's with nice beer and comfy couch upon which had long D&M with R.H.

Sun 24th
Hungover...again....
Thesis cracking on, improved formatting immensely and received positive comments and changes/additions from M.E. which are most helpful

Currently
procrastinating....

urg... motivation... urg....

Oh for sanity I say..... have been filling in damn PhD application forms for UQ... what are you supposed to write for "research methodology" on a philosophy thesis??? "lots of reading then lots of talking and think and then lots of damn writing???" I absolutely refuse to write some crap about taking a "post-modern approach yap yap yap" (i can't think of what else they want). Damn it, I am taking the "Rachael Approach"!!!!

Then what do i write for "funding and resources"? I could write that it would be nice to have my own lear (leer?) jet and do my writing at 10, 000 feet where the air is thinner and my brain (possibly) faster but I don't think that's what they want... i guess i'll write "photocopying and small travel for conferences" or some such... arg, have emailed qld people with questions, hopefully should have something on form in the next 24 hours or else I'M SCREWED!!!!!!

Aaahhh ... feel a bit better now... sorry to vent but I've been writing the application for the last couple of hours and felt like I've been bashing by head at a bureaucratic wall of paper (not nice). Today was quite nice although work on thesis is at standstill (despite wanting to have a draft of entirety done by friday). Spent day lying in bed, reading (slightly thesis related book, "the curious case of a dog in the nightime"... really interesting read) and bumming with B. He had some work issues and was in a bit of a headspacey mood for day so we just hung out reading, chatting, eating nice lunch and playing piano (badly, especially on my part!). It was quite nice really :)

Won polo last night 7-3 versus the other bohica team in our grade (bohica is the name for teams from our club, whitehorse cc). It felt a bit nasty actually because they only had four players although I got rolled so there was only four of us for the few minutes it took for me to get the boat out of water, get me out of water (harder than you think when you are in the pool clothed, wearing a huge pfd (life jacket), the water is a long way down from the edge of the pool a la Brunswick Baths and you are a weaky in the arms like me!) and then empty said boat and get back in it. Fortunately had some very nice assistance (thanks Nick!) when it came to it so it wasn't too arduous. Was still a fun game but I must learn to roll my canoe (upright it after getting rolled under) because at present I basically freak out and pull my spray which is not the best.

Also rode to uni from home which was quite nice (meditative i'd say) although i got lost and ended up coming along queen's pde... how is queen's pde the way from box hill to melbourne uni????

Had fun class at Papa G's because room was locked ... lecturer shouted us (thanks Neil!!!).

Sorry about judicious lack of capitals... i seem to have temporarily lost my ability to press the shift and type at the same time effectively... too late at night i suspect!

Just had to say it... best canoe polo game ever!!!! Not only did I get a goal (only second ever in all time) but I suddenly "got" defence! Sounds silly I know, but in polo the key to defence is to basically get your boat between the opposition's boat nose and the goal (when within the 6m line) and literally push them out by either digging under their boat or putting your nose on theirs and paddling like buggery. Sounds easy but isn't so much so when you are a runt like me playing against huge guys, but i finally(!!!!) got it!
plus we won, which was also made it all the more fun

Had a fantastic day to day :)

Went to EMS wine night last night after quick dinner at B's sister's for her birthday. Bought her one of those Phryne Fisher books, I hope she likes it. I saw a new one in Dimocks but decided against buying it until after thesis is done (ok, ok, was persuaded by B to decide!!!!). I can't wait to read it though plus have been recommended a few other crime books which I guess will also have to wait four weeks! Had really nice tea with M & D and B's parents, although lots of questions about damn thesis and stuff but in a way it's good to talk about it because it makes me "verbalise" my ideas, in turn making writing a bit easier later (it seems to at least).

Wine night was great fun with nice food, drink and company. Also found out about another person's live journal!!! Hi Therase!

So, what happened today.... Woke up early and read my PD James book while B slept. I fell back asleep for a while then we both woke up and Ben went out for the ingredients for a big fry up breakfast :) delicious. Sat in sun and finished off the PD James before going out to get stuff for a big BBQ tea - B managed to finally get the washing machine drum apart for a fireplace so we thought it was worth a celebration! We had roast chicken and vegetables along with Malibu cocktails to add to the summer feel in the evening air :)

great day! ... even managed to get some thesis done.

Three days of nothing... no thesis (relative to the other days of eight-ten hours) ... so good! in fact, i think it's most improving as I can now think about it all a bit more clearly :)
Meeting with H.S. (supervisor) yesterday went very well, although (as usual) more things I have to think about and look into but that's to be expected. Taking a lab discussion next week too it seems but will probably be useful way of bouncing round some of my ideas with some learned friends.

The smell of spring is so strong this year. Is it just me or is it really really strong? maybe it's being cooped up all the time but it smells glorious. Such a fresh smell tinged with nostalgia from long afternoons spent playing in the garden with my sisters by the Jasmine tree/bush/creeper thing. I can't wait until summer, last summer was such a fizzer and I can't wait until the evenings are a bit warmer (and reliably so) for picnics and moonlit strolls. I like winter but this year being inside working all the time and then going out into the bitter cold hasn't been that great... spring just seems so refreshing, like opening some cupboard doors for the first time in months!!!

arg... can hear vaccuum coming out of cupboard ... it means one thing!!!! dad's going to vaccuum noisily for at least an hour... don't get me wrong, am most greatful to be sitting and not vaccuuming (one of my least favourite passtimes.... vaccuums are definately not only loud but out of tune!).. but the noise is so grating, plus on the wooden floor!!!...

....might go play sax loudly for a while...

Well, at last I am writing something... other than my thesis!!!!
Walking home from the post office i stood on one of those telstra man hole cover thingys (you know the big concrete ones that look like tombstones?) Well anyway, I walked over one and it gave way somewhat and i fell over not only scratching both knees (no big deal for a klutz like me) but ripping a hole in both knees of one of my few pairs of pants (i only have two pairs i wear most... now i only have my favourite jeans left). The holes aren't really repairable ones as they are about five centimetres across and all jaggedy...argh! Rang telstra and reported the fault so some granny doesn't crack her hip on it!
Anyways, i had to vent so i thought why not here!
As for the rest of life...thesis is bearable... kind of like being chained to a vaccuum all day really...it sucks...both in content and doing it. I guess the thing is, I know what i want to write but when i write it it never seems properly substantiated or even original... i know, i know it's not supposed to be for an honours thesis but it is annoying!
um, on other fronts... had a total stress meltdown to B last night.. B was very good and said the right stuff and made me feel soooo much better. Feel pretty guilty because it's not really fair on him but it wasn't like I planned it... going for a short bike ride after he gets off work to get out of house and away from vaccuum for a little while!!!!!